What Your Coffee Habits Say About You

Tell me what coffee you drink and I’ll tell you who you are.

Well… not quite.

Though there’s plenty of coffee personality tests in the magical world of the Internet, most are just intended to be fun and certainly not scientific.

But is there something, anything that can be understood from somebody’s coffee habits?

Yes. Kind of.

I did some research and only found two sources that actually back up their claims somewhat. (Don’t you hate it when people say that something is “backed by science” but fail to provide a single reference to a scientific study?)

One is a story originally covered by the Independent, quoting the work of clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula. The other is coffeefriend, which relies on the expertise of former cop with a degree in psychology Darren Stanton.

Oh yes, there is also a study conducted by Dunkin’ Donuts in the UK, where various kinds of coffee drinkers had to describe themselves . Might as well throw that in.

(Disturbingly, all the sources for this article start with a D. Am I the only one who’s a little freaked out by that?)

So, do these different studies match up in any way? Let’s find out.

ESPRESSO

According to Durvasula, espresso drinkers are goal-driven dynamos and natural leaders who approach both personal and professional aspects of life with dedication. Beyond the caffeine kick, they genuinely relish the robust taste of coffee.

In Darren’s opinion, individuals opting for an espresso are adventurous and powerful. They exude strength of character, knowing exactly what they want and fearlessly expressing their desires. They’re no-nonsense and straight-talking.

Finally, based on the Dunkin Donuts study, espresso aficionados are often well-educated and well-traveled. Theirs is a lifestyle choice that reflects sophistication, seasoned with the spices of exploration.

BLACK COFFEE

Durvasula’s portrait of black coffee drinkers is not too far from that of espresso drinkers according to Darren: those are typically purists and no-nonsense individuals who lean towards a preference for the simple life. However, this simplicity might come with a side of abruptness, impatience, and an aversion to change. That’s me in a nutshell, and I drink exclusively black coffee, so I’m gonna admit I’m impressed with this one!

Darren shares a similar view: to him, those who opt for black coffee are single-minded, standing just a few bars down from the instant-shot aficionados. Some black coffee enthusiasts, especially those favoring an Americano for its low-calorie profile, may be fitness-oriented. This hints at a determined, focused, and driven individual who takes pride in self-care. While they exude self-sufficiency and empowerment, there’s a touch of a selfish mentality hovering around. Again. Spot on Darren!

Does the Dunkin Donuts study confirm this? Kind of. Black coffee lovers, according to this report, are comfortable in their own skin and feel at ease with who they are.

CAPPUCCINO

Dr. Durvasula’s research describes cappuccino drinkers as high-demand personalities. Their traits include being obsessive, controlling, overly sensitive, and health-conscious. This one doesn’t make sense to me to be honest… cappuccino is certainly yummy, but not the healthiest option by far. What do you think?

On the flip side, according to Darren, those opting for a cappuccino are a tad more adventurous. They’re on the lookout for a bit more excitement and can be considered the fun-loving bunch. Their personality traits suggest a willingness to venture into unknown territory, whether it’s trying a new skill or exploring a new place. These individuals are open-minded, up for a laugh, and ready to embrace life’s adventures. Sound more like it to me!

In the Dunkin Donuts report, cappuccino lovers are described as simply satisfied with life. It seems this frothy delight attracts those who find contentment in the simple pleasures and are at peace with their current state of being.

LATTE

If you’re a latte drinker, you won’t be too happy about Durvasula’s view of you. She portrays latte lovers as people pleasers, possibly exhibiting even more neurotic attributes. Ouch!

You’ll probably be happier with Darren’s take. To him, those who favor lattes are the middle-of-the-road types, not too adventurous and averse to risk-taking. In his eyes, latte lovers are mild-mannered, agreeable, and content to go with the flow, mirroring their choice of a beverage that seems safe and uncomplicated. Don’t get too excited, though. Darren considers this type rather boring.

The Dunkin Donuts report seems to agree with Durvasula: latte enthusiasts are labeled as people pleasers. And it was voted the most popular coffee beverage in the UK, a nation well known for its excessive politeness. If you’re a latte drinker, I’d consider having a think about this!

FLAT WHITE

Durvasula doesn’t cover this type, maybe because back in 2013, when her study was conducted, flat whites weren’t as much of a thing as they are now? Who knows.

Darren paints them as individuals who perceive themselves as a bit more sophisticated. To him, this crowd is likely to be single-minded and fairly outspoken, perhaps bordering on arrogance in some cases. Since the flat white doesn’t enjoy the same popularity as a latte or cappuccino, Darren suggests that those who opt for it might have a touch of loner tendencies. However, this loner status isn’t about isolation but rather a reflection of their strong opinions and clear views, especially on contentious topics.

Yet the Dunkin Donuts report offers a very different portrait, labelling flat white enthusiasts as honest and trustworthy.

So, are you sophisticated or agreeable? A loner or a fun-lover? One thing’s for certain: if you’re a latte drinker, you might want to work on your self esteem…